Lesson 11

Marks Of A Spiritual Father

I Corinthians 4:14-21

I never cease to marvel at the timing of the Holy Spirit. One of the criticisms of verse-by-verse, systematic expository preaching is that it doesn't take into account relevant issues. Preachers avoid it because they fear that they will be preaching to the church from I Corinthians when there is a opportunity to speak to sinners about salvation.

But I am convinced that one of the beautiful things about expository preaching is that it allows the Holy Spirit to time when a theme is being preached. Several years ago an unmarried couple began visiting DBC. They complained to someone that I was preaching repeatedly against adultery and sexual immorality. The member to whom they complained simply said, "He's preaching through Ephesians and that's what Ephesians says over and over." I could not be blamed for singling out one sin. I was simply dealing with the text as it unfolded.

Well, it just so happens, without any planning on my part that on the day that marks my 10th anniversary as the pastor of this church, we are studying I Corinthians 4. Today, we have come to the last section of the chapter verses 14-21. I have wondered what I would say to the church on my anniversary and have discovered that the Lord had something to say to me from His Word. Perhaps, today, you can listen while I talk to myself.

You may recall that I Corinthians 4 is about the ministry. In this chapter, Paul has painted several pictures of what a minister is like. He has given us images of how the ministry should be viewed. Actually, there are five pictures from three perspectives in this chapter. From the Lord's perspective, Paul says that the minister is a servant and a steward, vs. 1-2. From the world's view, the minister is a spectacle and scum, vs. 9-13. In verse 14-21, our text for today, we find the church's perspective of the minister - that of a spiritual father.

The language of this text is the loving language of a father speaking to his children. In verse 14, he refers to the church as his "sons" (Greek = teknon = children; offspring). In verse 15, he tells us that we can have many instructors but only one father and he has "begotten" them. And so the language is of a spiritual father.

Now, this applies to those of us who are in the ministry. But it also applies to all Christians in the sense that we should all be reproducing ourselves in the lives of others through soul winning and discipleship. All of us should become spiritual parents to someone younger than us in the Lord. And, I would add furthermore, that this text can be applied to the family and can teach us how to be spiritual parents to our children.

In the verses that form our text, Paul presents, not explicitly, but by implication and pattern six characteristics of a faithful spiritual father. Let's consider them. Now, they do not come in logical, chronological order but we'll take them as they come.

A Spiritual Father Warns, 4:14a.

"I write not these things to shame you, but ... (to) I warn you."

Paul's previous words had been harsh and hard even to the point of sarcastic. Here, he explains his purpose. It is not to shame them. It is possible for a parent to correct a child in a way that tears down rather than builds us. As parents, we are told in the scriptures not to "provoke" our children but to "bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord" (Ephesians 6:4). In the name of discipline children can be criticized and emotionally damaged in ways that will leave permanent scars.

Paul's harsh words were not intended to shame them but, rather, to "warn" them - not to destroy them but to reclaim them- not brow-beat and humiliate them but help them. The word used here implies that something is wrong and needs to be corrected and made right. The warning is for the purpose of producing a change - in belief, in attitude, in habit, in life-style or in action. Wrapped up in this word is the idea that "you must change or else some form of judgment will follow." It is that kind of warning.

Children need to be warned. A permissive negligent parent will be sorry. Proverbs 29:15 Reproof give(s) wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame. It isn't easy being a parent. It can be tough to warn without shaming. But that is what a spiritual father must do. And that is what a minister must do. He must warn his people. That is what a discipler must do. A spiritual father warns.

A Spiritual Father Loves, 4:14b

"as my beloved sons (children)"

Earlier, Paul has referred to the Corinthians as his brothers (1:10; 2:1; 3:1) but now he calls them his children, a more intimate relationship. They were not just children, they were "beloved" children, especially dear to their spiritual father. Think of it. The Corinthians were not obedient, not morally upright, not doctrinally sound, not spiritually mature, but that did not keep them from being loved by the apostle Paul. His love for them was not conditional - not based on their performance. In fact, Paul uses a form of the word "agape" here for "beloved" which is the deepest, purest, most God-like form of unconditional love. The Corinthians may not have deserved Paul's love but they had it in full measure.

It is an absolute necessity that a minister, a discipler, a spiritual father love the people to whom God has called him. That was Jonah's problem. Jonah had all the tools of a great missionary. He could preach. He could pray. But He did not love the people of Nineveh.

Paul, on the other hand, loved the Corinthians and was not reluctant to express it. It is important, not only that we love, but that we express our love and that we put it in unconditional terms.

A Spiritual Father Begets, 4:15.

Here is where it all begins. Before there can be warning and love, there must a birth. Paul claims to have "begotten" (fathered) them in "in Christ Jesus" and "through the gospel." Paul referred to Timothy (I Timothy 1:2), Titus (Titus 1:4) and Philemon (Philemon 10) as his spiritual sons. Obviously, the apostle is not claiming to have the power of spiritual procreation. Salvation comes from the power of Christ in the Holy Spirit coupled with the gospel, the word of God. But there is a sense in which, through soul winning and discipleship we become spiritual parents. We become the human agent who witnesses and wins a person to Christ. A father by definition, is a man who has children. A man can be a man without having children; he can be a husband without having children; but he cannot be a father without having children. Thus, a Christian cannot be spiritual father (parent) without having been used by god to bring life to spiritual children. Unfortunately, many Christians have never become spiritual fathers. They have never produced any spiritual offspring. They have never led a person to Christ nor helped train him in the ways of God. Every believer should be a spiritual father, God instrument for bringing new lives into His kingdom.

Paul illustrates the uniqueness of fatherhood. You can have ten thousands instructors (the highest number in the Greek language). But you can have only one father. There is a special and unique relationship that you enjoy with your spiritual father.

A spiritual father begets children.

A Spiritual Father Sets An Example, 4;16-17a.

Without a good example, a parent's teaching cannot be effective. A spiritual father must set the example for his spiritual children, as Paul was careful to do. With confidence, but without bragging, Paul could say, "be ye followers (imitators; mimics) of me." Not only "Do as I say" but also "Do as I do."

Often the hardest place to disciple is in the home. When we disciple those outside our families, they often see us only in ideal situations, where it is easy to act spiritual and mature. But our children see us in all our moods, in all our attitudes and actions. They know firsthand if we are living up to what we are trying to teach. If we are not, our instruction and our admonitions fall on deaf ears. Even if we sincerely love them, our children are more likely to follow what we do over what we say. Having godly children is required of an elder in the church (I Timothy 3:4-5) in part, at least, because that is good evidence that he himself is godly. Spiritual parenting is more than just teaching right principles; it is also living those principles.

A spiritual father sets a good example.

A Spiritual Father Teaches, 4:17b.

"as I teach every where in every church"

A major part of parenting, spiritual and physical, is teaching. Expressing and explaining truths. Paul had spent 18 months in Corinth teaching. Timothy's job was to remind them of the things Paul had taught them.

Our teaching must be correct and it must be clear and understandable. A spiritual father simply teaches and teaches with simplicity. The idea is not that the teacher is clever and stylish but that it enables the disciple to learn.

A spiritual father teaches.

A Spiritual Father Disciplines, 4:18-21.

Sometimes a Christian, like our children, need correction. If their doctrine or behavior is wrong it needs to be corrected. Confrontation is never easy but sometimes necessary.

In the case of the Corinthians, it was an arrogant attitude, v. 18a. Thinking they would never see Paul again, they thought they could get by doing as they pleased. They also thought that Paul would never dare confront them. But Paul promised to return to Corinth, the Lord willing, and would find out just tough they were. He was not afraid to confront them. He hoped however, that before he arrived these erring Corinthians would repent. He gave them a choice. His arrival could mean strong, painful discipline ("a rod") or love and the spirit of meekness.

A spiritual father be it a pastor, a discipler, or a Christian parent who desires to raise godly children does these six things (in logical order this time) ...

*He begets (soul inning) ...

He loves

He teaches

He sets a good example

He warns

He disciplines.

That is the kind of pastor that the Lord desires me to be. That is the kind of parent that He longs you to be. And that is the ministry of discipleship.